nov 13

(Nov 1) got a good check up at Hillman so that's always good news..Chemo pills really did a number on me I was naused and sick the whole week..Even being off them I still felt sick.

Nov 11-Still don't feel good I don't have much of a appetite,headache or naused..I feel like a shell of my former self..At least the old me wasn't sick all the time..I just wanna feel normal again.I'm still heart sick over my beloved Mischief..I miss him more then anything.

Mischief

(Oct 11 written)My beloved Mischief passed away on Oct 5th he was very sick and his back where they did the biopsy was infected and had an smelled bad.He passed peacefully in my arms w/ mom beside us.It was hard to let him go but I wanted him to be comfortable and w/ out pain.Mom and Tashi are doing a WONDERFUL job of being their for me.We should be getting his ashes soon I'm gonna make a beautiful moral for him.


(added Oct 15) Today we got Mischief's ashes in a pretty black velvet bag w/ rainbow bridge on it my poor sweet baby.I love and miss him soooo much :"(

Sept 20

Hellman today blood/MRI GOOD and now I get MRI every 3 months and blood still remains at once pre month.But I'll take that over the MRI any day!!! (Sept 24) I'm not sleeping very good and I'm depressed over Mischief.His poor back looks so sore and yucky.Our kitten jumps on his back,he licks it.When we try to put something on it he licks it off..My idea is to make a shirt or something to protect his back ha which I'm still working on.We tried a man's tank top hahahah it was so big on him we need something small and so he can move easily!Thank god later today I see my therapist I really need help dealing w/ all crap.Ugh it's just TOOO MUCH ALL AT ONCE! Grandpa dies,I get a brain tumor and my cat has cancer! I mean give me a freaking break!

Sept 05/finished on Sept 08

Mischief's tests results are back he has cancer..I found out today and I haven't stopped crying since we found out.I'm devastate.They said he could have a year or 2 to live and I plan on spending as much time w/ him as I can.I feel so crushed I'm still crying my heart is shattered I thought he'd live till 20.I remember when we found out he had a heart mummer and how scared I felt of losing him.His heart was never an issue.He was healthy other then that.It's too much crap in a small period of time.I held myself together when my beloved grandpa passed,even when I had cancer.But this is too much I can't take anymore bad things happening.I feel my depression flooding back,and I hate it but I can't do anything about it.W/ the way I feel I don't give a damn.Whats the point if I'm just gonna lose everything I love.My heart hurts so bad.  

Aug 27

Today went to Hillman my blood report came back fine.I hate sitting and waiting for hours for my doc but the positive test results make it worth it.Its so hard seeing the cancer patience that are way far worse.It breaks my heart cause they look so frail and in pain.I guess I came away from this almost healthy.  I'm still having headaches and dizziness and my eyes hurt..I start my chemo pills Thur/Fri.Mischief had his biopsy today we won't know for a week His poor back looks painful I feel so bad for him,hopefully the biopsy will be ok.My job now is to keep Tashi off his back and not attack him,ugh!She isn't doing it as much and she just wants to play.

Aug 24

I was suppose to have blood work at Hillman but I was nauseated and had a horrible headache. This month has been full of dizziness and headaches and my eyes have been hurting.I go back to Hillman next week I'll post my blood report :)

Aug 2

July 30,we took both cats to the vet my girlie got her last kittens shots (good checkup) and my boy they want to biopsy on the  lumps on his back..I'm so scared that it's something that could kill him.I'm trying to stay positive  but I can't lose him he's been my rock through my depression and other important moments in my life.I always held him and he would purr it's comforting :).IDK if I'm hormonal or what but thinking about it makes me wanna cry.Please send positive thoughts and prays to him! You know what really,really,really bugs the sh## out of me the morons that say "Oh it's just a cat/dog"..No they are NOT just pets they are members of the family as$#%^&seriously that pisses me the f#!@ off who the hell are you to judge anyone.Not all animal lovers hoard animals or are "crazy cat ladies/men".And to be 100% honest I like animals better then ppl.All they want is love,food and a place to sleep and go potty.Animals will never put you down,make fun of you.I have learned to trust ppl again but that was a long process and the ppl I trust I trust w/ my life I know they only wants whats best for me and love me for me.And for that I'm truly grateful for!

july 27

Went on vac to Philly had a great time w/ my family..we went to the beach and board walk..My fave was this butterfly place where you go in a room and they land on you.It was so cool and had some cute little birds in it!The gift shop was also cool I got a mouse w/ a Scorpio in it.On the board walk I got sharks teeth and a necklace.It was very hot so we mostly swam.I suffered from bad headaches the entire time but I tried not to let it stop me from having fun!Ha I got my yearly lobster tail yummy!On Fri (the 26th) I was at Hillman did MRI and Bl work both were good! I'm so glad cause the headaches were bad (which started the whole thing).I'm so grateful not to have cancer again and I hope I live a normal long life w/ my beautiful family and friends and cats.

July 03

Hi ppl I just found out today that  To comment on my blog click "no comments" at the bottom of the post and leave a comment:)...

I don't know if it's the heat or what but I've had a headache almost every flipping day.And today I felt so light headed.I drink plenty of fluids so it's not that I'm dehydrated.

This week has been hard for me I had bad,horrible headaches Sat,Sun and today.They were so bad I took a pill and layed in my dark bedroom.That scares me because thats how all this started crap thats scares the hell out of me.

Wow some chances have happened since I last blogged.I got a adorable black/white kitten on June 3rd! We didn't plan on getting a kitten yet but she was doing what Mischief did that drew us to him.She was sticking her paws out and meowing ohh she is so sweet!She had 2 brothers in the cage w/ her and one brother got adopted when we were adopting her.We named her Tashi after the baby dolphin we swam w/. Mischief tolerates her well so were happy about that.
Today I went to Hillman just blood work no MRI till next month,my blood work was fine.

I'll start w/ the bad first don't worry it gets better :)!
I start chemo pill tonight but it's only for a week.I've been getting more dizzy and feel off balance.
On May 12-15 mom and I were in Key Largo swimming w/ the dolphins a wonderful group called Island Dolphin Care (it's like MakeAWish for adults) payed for us to go down!It was incredible to swim w/ those beautiful creatures.We swam w/ a mom (Squirt) and her 8 mon old baby (Taji) Tues & Wed and another dolphin joined us named Lotis.We made pretty pillow cases w/ dolphins on them!We took a boat ride on the African Queen and ate at some yummy places.
Sun we ate at a cute italian place on Sun thats the day we arrived so thats all we did.
MON we got a tour of Island Dolphin Care and ate at Conch House it was a old house they made into a restaurant and family owned.Omg they had good shrimp.TUES we swam w/ the dolphins AHHHHHHHHHH it was a blast we got kisses,and they pushed us across the water by our feet and got to hold onto their fins.Then painted dolphins on pillowcases!And our hotel room looked like a condo it was really cute!We had a balcony that over looked the harbor and across was a bar that played live music so we would sit out and listen! WED swam w/ the dolphins and was video taped!After we walked in their beautiful garden and touch tank it had starfish,snails sea cucumbers.They also had a sea lion she was cute!I felt like crying I didn't wanna leave :(. For dinner we ate at this cool restaurant on the water called Snooks they had live music their food was bomb,their was this adorable little boy (I guess a year and some months old) he was dancing to the music in his chair it made everyone laugh it was so cute!THUR we got up at 11p and checked out ate at a cute dinnor it had magnets on the ceiling.Then looked in some shops and headed to the airport.We got home around 10! I encourage anyone who dreams of swimming w/ dolphins to do so it's worth it!They're so graceful and magical ! 

Thanks to my family and friends for donating money for the trip..I love you

May 6 Mon was Hillman had my Mri/bl work..The doc said I had scar tissue were the tumor was and he doesn't know if anything is under it.So I'm a little worried!Mischief's "lumps" have gone down the vet is just gonna watch them he thinks they might be calcium.I'm trying to get out more and I don't feel as depressed so that's good.

I was reluctant to post about my depression but I feel that my having cancer has made my depression worse.When I was first found out about my cancer I was still upbeat.Now I'm having a hard time staying upbeat all I wanna do is sleep,I don't eat much I'm starting into my hole again.I made a promise to myself yest night that I won't let my depression get me again,I'm gonna go out and live my life.I've had a bit of a cold this week and dizziness,but tomorrow I get to see Mandy my bestest friend in the whole world!

On April 8th I went to Hillman for bl work and checkup..I'm ok!!!Next month MRI ugh!!!Then my family took me to Red Lobster my fave omg did that taste good!Mischief had his vets checkup and the doc still has no idea what it is on his back,we take him back next month.Please pray from him!

On the 21rst we had to take Mischief to the vets he seems to have some bumps on his back.The vet said maybe fat deposits he gave him a shot and we go back soon to see what the doc thinks.I'm praying it aint nothing life threatening I don't wanna lose my baby.I'll post what the doc says next time..
On March 25 we went to get bl drawn ugh & couldn't..so we went back the next day and they took bl from my hand.I actually preferred that over the crook of my elbow.What ever way they can get bl from my small veins is fine w/ me.I've been sick since Fri..mom too stupid cold my head hurts worst of all..but nowhere near as bad as it felt before.
Bye :)

Hi here is a catchup of whats been happening w/ me..I had 6 weeks of  radiation and chemo pills starting Jan 2,the radiation didn't bother me so much the staff at Passavant was very nice and let me listen to music during my treatments.As my cousin Liz said it's nothing although I did lose some of my hair.The chemo pills sheesh the first night w/out I was sick all night then they gave me anti nausea pills which REALLY helped.I finished rad on Feb 8th and now take chemo pills every month for 5 days.On March 11 I had a MRI and blood work and I'm fine.But I have to get blood work every week and see doc every 2 months.Since all this I haven't really had any headaches like I used too.But my eyes do feel tired and I do get dizzy but I can live w/ that.My kitty Mischief hasn't left my side since I've been back from the hospital I love that lil furball so much.My mom and family have been wonderful to me and I love them so much.

It all started in Nov I started getting really painful headaches and some got so bad it made me throw up and my vision was blurry.So we went to the eye doctor (Nov 29) she found that I had high levels of liquid in my head at first she talked about putting a shunt in my head and I was to be admitted to the hospital.Then came the shock I had a brain tumor.My mom and grandma got migraines which is what we thought I had so it was shocking to hear "brain tumor" GEEZ.The day of my surgery was interesting  they didn't have to take out any of my skull they used a laser and the scar is on my left temple and down to my ear (the tumor was behind my ear) they did do a shunt  HA I don't remember it very well but my mom and family was their and mom and my Uncle Wess visited me and mom said I said "mommy" and smiled at her.I woke up the next morning and they moved me to a chair HA I didn't have my glasses so I couldn't watch tv,I was happy to see mom that mid morning.The shunt was a pain because I couldn't really move my head they had a laser pen (?) pointed at my scar and if I moved they had to readjust it.